Happy 9th Birthday, DuBose!

DuBose,

How did you possibly get to NINE so quickly? I remember bringing you home from the hospital on my 28th birthday and thinking you were the best birthday present ever. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with that present, but I knew, without a doubt, that I was going to  spend my lifetime loving it and delighting in it. I'm happy to say that it has been a delight.

April 2012

Don't get me wrong, we have our moments. This parenting gig isn't easy and I'm pretty sure being a child in our household isn't always easy either. We have high expectations and always ask for a lot. You know what though, DuBose, you live up to those standards and work really hard to do what we ask of you. We all have our slip-ups here and there, but I'd say you're are doing an excellent job overall.

May 2012

You are a very interesting kid, DuBose. 

Silly and funny one minute and quiet and reserved the next. As your mother, I can usually predict which version of you I am going to get in any given circumstance, but sometimes you do surprise me. 

I think the silly and funny comes from just being a boy.

From what I can tell, anyway, having never actually been a boy.

 If you were allowed to talk about bodily functions, body parts, ridiculous jokes, and have I mentioned, bodily functions, then I don't think you would ever stop talking. Ever. But, alas, you are not allowed. At first, I tried to put a stop to it altogether and then I looked around and discovered that every boy I was coming in contact with had the exact same vocabulary. Apparently, it's in your boy DNA somewhere. I mean, your father and his friends may use words like trumpet, but they're still talking about it too. 

So, as your mother, I decided that instead of trying to force these subjects from your conversations I would (try to) teach you when it is appropriate to have such conversations and when it is not. Outside with just your friends (boys only), go for it. Laugh it up. But when you are around an adult or a lady (of any age), you better not be discussing bodily whatevers! 

We are still working on this, of course. But at least you are hearing me say over and over again what's appropriate and what's not. Surely, it's going to sink in at some point, right?

June 2012

And then there's the quiet and reserved side. The side that mumbles under his breath when spoken to. Or can't be bothered to bring his nose out of a book to join the conversation. This is the side of you that is shy and independent. It's also the part of you that is taking it all in. DuBose, you don't miss anything that goes on around you. (As a child that used to hide in my books, I know how much information can be gained from those around you if they think your nose is stuck between the pages of a book.) You'll be quietly reading in some corner somewhere and then pipe into the conversation around you if something interests you. 

As far as the mumbling goes that I mentioned earlier, you are soo much better than you used to be. You seem to get it when I tell you you have to look at the adults around you and speak to them in a voice that can be understood. You know that when a hand is offered it is for a handshake and not a high five. I received an email from the guidance counselor at school this week that said:

"Today in the hallway, DuBose looked up at me while I was walking by and made it a point to ask me how I was and some other very nice pleasantries. I have no idea if this is something you all have been encouraging, but it was great! Certainly, not a skill many third graders have and he did it very well."

Loved getting this, DuBose. Love that you are paying attention to me and the things I tell you. Love that when I read this to you, you realized people are, indeed, paying attention to you and your actions.

July 2012

You are independent. You may not remember simple instructions from one second to the next ("Please go brush your teeth" can become a battle if you get sidetracked on the way), but you CAN do just about anything we ask of you. You can fix your own lunch, prepare breakfast for yourself, Mills and Ellie on a weekend morning. You get dressed on your own every morning. In fact, I often have to ask you what day it is at school so I know what uniform to pull out for Mills. You can do the laundry until it's time to get it out of the dryer which is a bit too tall for you. With a stool you could do it no problem, but I'm just grateful that I can ask you to do the laundry and it gets cleaned and dried with me just having to take it out and fold it. (Although, buddy, that and putting it away are my two least favorite parts, so you will be graduating to that soon:) You pack yourself for a night or weekend away. You do your homework all on your own. You can clean anything around the house. You are learning how to cook. When we have asparagus you are completely in charge of it - washing, snapping the ends, seasoning and getting it in the oven. You can make a box cake from beginning to end. There's a lot more you could do in the kitchen but it doesn't seem to be enjoyable for you, just a chore. I am determined that you will know how to cook though.

 August 2012

Another part of your independence is the fact that you like to be alone sometimes. You seem to know when you need a break and head off to your room to read or play Legos. You can be in there for hours and be perfectly happy. You LOVE to read. You would read until the wee hours of the morning if we let you. Sometimes I forget to check on you, and at 10:30, I go in there and you are fully immersed and beg me to let you finish. Not just the chapter but the book. Having that same compulsion to keep reading, I get it, I do. But you need to sleep. You are a much happier camper with a good night's sleep in you.

 Back in October, I made a deal with you that if you would read Harry Potter before your birthday I would give you $20 (you need to collect that!). This sounds an awful lot like a bribe right? It totally was! I couldn't get you to read anything other than your favorites - Hardy Boys, Boxcar children, Dr Doolittle - you would just read these over and over again. I knew you needed to step up your reading levels a bit (your latest test scores at school show a 6th grade reading level) so I was trying to find something else you might enjoy. You had no interest. On March 1st, I put the first Harry Potter book on your bedside table. You ignored it for a bout a week and then curiosity grabbed you and now, 5 weeks later, you are almost through the sixth book. There are a lot of adults that can't read quite that fast, DuBose. Granted, they may not be as obsessed as you are.

I told you how proud I was of you the other day and wondered what you wanted to read next.

Your answer: Oh, I'll just read these again.

 September 2012 

(okay, really it's the last week of August. Apparently, the only pictures I took in September were of our things, taking an inventory after we were robbed! Sorry to have been obsessed.)

Your successes at school seem to come and go. One month, I am getting glowing remarks about how awesome you are, and the next, I hear you are struggling. And not struggling so much with the content but with getting it done on time, not losing assignments, and being engaged in group settings. (You are struggling with your math facts but are doing really well with the applied concepts so I'm not too worried there.) Group work seems to be your nemesis. You are asked to work with others for projects and assignments often as the school wants to prepare you for real life. You are a born leader but haven't quite mastered the concept of tact and leading in a way that makes people want to follow. You get easily frustrated with others who may be slower or just not getting it. You just want to put down the answer and move on rather than be patient with them. It frustrates you to no end when you get marked wrong on these assignments but have the right answer. The concept of the teacher not wanting the "right" answer but a "group" answer is not sinking in yet.

DuBose, you have to work with people in life every day forever and ever. Amen.  I know, without a doubt, that you are going to grow into this concept and that you will one day be a great leader. I pray that you will learn to inspire and empower others. I also pray that you keep your bold actions - it's hard to be a leader and to go your own way when others may not understand. However, if you go about it the right way, you'll realize that no matter who you are leading or following you always have something to learn from others.

 October 2012

Your other love is Minecraft. I'd say you are a bit obsessed. I never never thought I would be a parent whose child was overtaking them in the technology department, but I can see that is a "never statement" I should not have made. You are constantly searching YouTube for Minecraft videos while your dad and I are trying to figure out the parental controls. I came in the room the other day and you were on a friend's Minecraft server where the other players were speaking Spanish. I asked if you knew them and when you told me no, I told you that you couldn't play on that server anymore. You quickly switched to another friend's server. I had no idea what you were doing or how you obtained the information to do it. I was a bit shocked.

I don't mind Minecraft, just the level of technology that comes with it. I'm having to figure things out and try to stay one step ahead of you at all times. It's exhausting. I have a feeling that this stage of your life and mine has only just begun.

 November 2012

You are sensitive and kind. You offer to help when you see a need. You offer condolences when someone is hurt. You have compassion and empathy for others. I love when I catch a glimpse of this side of you. My absolute favorite is when I see you acting this way toward Ellie. And she just soaks it up. She worships you and wants your attention so badly.

You are a helper. Your teachers are always telling me that you help in many ways around the classroom. You really seem to love that act of service which, of course, is something I pray stays with you. People who have a love of service often have a heart full of grace. As a mom, I couldn't be more proud of those parts of you.

December 2012

While no one can get under your skin quite like Mills and Ellie can, no one can make you happier. The three of you can fight like cats and dogs one second and be the bestest of friends the next. It's the way of siblings, I suppose. And, yes, you do fight, but you are friends much more of the time. You and Mills can play together for hours and hours. You like to play the same things and have the same friends which is wonderful. Especially since you are so different from one another. And you two include Ellie most of the time which is amazing. I love love love to watch the three of you immersed in playtime. You have your own little worlds, and you each have a role to fulfill. 

DuBose, as the oldest, they will always look up to you, always watch to see how you are doing it, always want to be right next to you. I know that's a lot of pressure but God made you the firstborn for a reason so I know you are going (and already are!) to be awesome with it! Savor it and enjoy it. The three of you have your own unique little club that no one else can join. You'll forever hold the memories of your childhood. No one else can share them quite like you can with each other. Encourage that, DuBose. Foster it. Great things will come to you in life with the two of them by your side, always cheering for you and always having your back.

January 2013

You have a sense of humor. You are always telling jokes. More times than I can count, when you have been reprimanded for something you always say, confused: I was just trying to be funny. We are steadily working on the "there's a time and a place" theory for these occurrences.

You have a natural ability to throw out one-liners. But the place where your sense of humor always comes out is in your writing. You have absolutely reached new heights in this department, and I cannot wait to get your writing binder at the end of the year and post all of your stories! I do have this one though that was published in the school literary magazine (that's twice this year you were published, Bose!! Awesome!) The humor in this one is a bit more subtle...

If I had a Robotic Dog

DuBose Egleston, age 8

If I had a robotic dog, I would take it for walks. 

I would let it sleep with me. 

I would give it a bone. 

I would teach it not to drink out of the toilet. 

I would give it breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

And if I left it out in the rain, 

I would bury it and mark its grave.

February 2013

I said it in your birthday post, but NINE?! In nine more ridiculously short years, you'll have your high school graduation invitations in hand, ready to be addressed. You'll know where you are going to college. You'll be taller than me. You'll have the two proudest parents in the world ready to watch you soar. We'll be heartbroken to let you go, but praying that we taught you all we could. We will pray that you have the same kindness, compassion, strength, smarts, love of reading, love of creating, love of your family, and the strong faith that you have today.

March 2013

I look at you all the time and marvel at the fact that you are my little boy. Some days I still feel like I am playing make-believe, and I'll need to go home to my parent's house soon. It's hard to imagine myself as an adult despite the fact that I have firmly been one for quite some time.

  It's just so surreal to know that I have this little family that's mine. I have a loving husband and three amazing children that I helped create. And I am so proud of you. 

So.   Proud. 

You make this parenting, adult thing really hard some days, but 90% of the time, you make it feel like a fairy-tale, make believe. A wish that I can't believe actually came true. A prayer answered. Thank you for that. Thank you for being our fairy-tale, our make believe, our prayer answered.

 April 2013

I love you more than I can say. You are the one who taught me how to be a mother. What mothering looked like at each stage.

If God asked me to choose any child to be mine, I'd always choose you. Always.

I love you, DuBose.

~Mom