Thirteen years
Dear DuBose, Mills, and Ellie,
Your dad and I are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary today. I've already written about how we met, our first date, and about our wedding day. I was thinking about what I wanted to write today and decided I wanted to give you a glimpse of your parents right now. I'd love to have a snapshot of my parents, even grandparents, from their 30s in their own words. I love a good story, especially when it involves people I know. I also love sneak peeks into peoples lives, their stories so I thought I'd give you that.
Thirteen tidbits about your parents on their 13th wedding anniversary....
1.
Your father has only a few things he is passionate about and right now Millwood Farm tops the list. Owning land and having a cabin on it has always been a dream of his (and mine). I'm sure his dreams came from time he spent at his grandparents' (Egleston grandparents) property along Lake Murray growing up. I was fortunate enough to visit it a few times before they sold it to move to Charleston. Dad grew up watching his grandparents enjoy spending their weekends there, gardening, boating, and just being together. Now, he has his own piece of property to tinker on whether he's on his tractor, in a deer stand, or just walking through the woods. It's quiet there, work is a distant thing, and he gets to work with his hands. Your dad loves to fix and build things. He takes pride in his accomplishments and he should - there's not much he can't do. He always amazes me with his solutions to problems and his ability to create things. The three of you should pay attention out there to him and to the things he does. Just by watching you'll learn a wealth of information, but you should take it a step further and help him. He has the ability to teach you anything and everything. Mainly, he has the ability to teach you to appreciate the world around you and hard work. Watch him, up on his tractor, sweating in the hot sun, clearing a field to plant it. Watch how hard he works, watch how much he loves it, watch him appreciate it.
2.
I have several things I really love, but music is very close to the top. If I could only take one thing with me to a deserted island, I'd have a hard time choosing between my Kindle and my music collection - lucky for me I could just take my iPad and have them both :) For me, music is therapy for every mood. I have it on all the time and love anything I can sing along to. (Now, I can't really sing but that doesn't stop me.) Since I have such a soundtrack to my life simply by having my music on all the time, most songs remind me of a memory, a friend, a place, or a mood. I think most people can relate to that. I love having that little nudge to think about someone or a memory. In the past few years, I've added tons of songs to my music library. Tons. And they all seem to speak to me in some way. Songs are like stories to me, telling of love lost or found, happiness, frustration, whatever. I'm sure you could find a song that tells about most anything you could experience in life. I also love my praise music which can almost guarantee to get me out of any funk. I keep my music organized in playlists by the year I bought them. I started this in 2009 so I can look back over the past several years and see what type of music I was drawn to at any given time. It's funny to see how all over the map I am with this. Very eclectic playlists! I've given the three of you the music bug as well which I love! (Your dad tolerates my love for music but he would be just as happy with a silent house and car rides.) We have lots of dance parties around here. You sing along to most of my favorite songs and you ask to have the music on in the car, at breakfast, while we play. I love it. Love the memories we are making and knowing that in a few years hearing a particular song is going to remind me of dancing with the cutest 9, 7 and 4 year olds ever!
3.
Your mom is fairly coordinated and athletic. Your dad is athletic but not so coordinated. He could outrun me, out sail me, out swim me, and out hike me any day of the week. Multiple times a day. And I'm in shape. I exercise regularly and feel really good. He doesn't exercise (other than the fact that he simply doesn't sit still, he's constantly in motion.) However, throw in a ball of some sort, and I have a slight advantage. I can beat him in tennis, bowling, basketball, and mostly certainly, volleyball. I just have better hand-eye coordination (only in this arena - he is a great shot with a gun!) and I prefer team sports whereas he prefers sports where the only person you need to beat is yourself. I like the comradery and the community team sports build. I like celebrating with others. He's more of a loner. He often times tells me he doesn't like people. He's joking, most of the time.
4.
I mentioned above that Dad doesn't sit still. Well, I'm not exaggerating. As you look back on your childhood, you'll realize that your dad was in perpetual motion. You rarely saw him sit in front of a TV. You probably never saw him read a book. If he was still, you'll remember him sitting in front of his laptop or napping, otherwise he was doing. Your mother, on the other hand? You'll probably remember me with my nose in a book most of the time that your dad (or y'all) didn't have me out doing something. I do like TV but find that not as much interests me there as it used to. (I have to admit here to a love of reality TV - I just love to have a peek into people's lives - how they interact with one another, how they react to circumstances, good vs evil qualities. All of it fascinates me, I should have been a sociology major, then I could have made a living at studying others:) Anyway, DuBose, I think you are fascinating because, so far, of the three of you, you are equal parts Dad and I. You are in constant motion. UNLESS your nose is in a good book. You rarely sit still, although you will watch TV but just short spurts here and there. Your love right now though is to read. And when you're not reading, you are doing, building, creating, playing, moving. Mills, you like to be inside. I think once the reading clicks for you, you'll love it as much as Bose and I, but for now you're all about the electronics. You will go outside and you love our adventures but given a choice, you'd pick TV or a video game. And Ellie, I'm not sure yet where you are going to fall in our family dynamics. Team movement or Team sit still? You don't seem to lean either way yet, just happy to be included in whatever is happening around you. I pray you all have a good balance, appreciating the need to get out there and do something but at the same realize cuddling up in a quiet place with a great book is heaven.
5.
Which leads nicely into your dad's and my love for adventure. Your dad genuinely loves to be out there, exploring and playing outside. I love it for those reasons and just because it's what I want your childhood to be. I want you to look back and remember all the things we did as a family, building our community of five. The word adventure is a part of your vocabulary right now. On Saturday mornings you ask us what adventure we are going on. Are we boating, hiking, bike riding? Going to the beach, going to a museum, aquarium, movie? You all love the possibilities. Your dad loves being out there, doing and I love making memories with you, watching the bonds form between you, between us. I pray you wake up each day and wonder what adventures lay ahead.
6.
Your mom is crafty. Or so I like to think. I have a strong urge to make something. I can't say that my follow through is all that great, however. New things can intimidate me (here's a big difference in your dad and I, he's rarely, if ever, intimidated by new things) so I have been known to start a project, then hit a road block and put it away until I can figure it out. Sadly, things have been known to sit for quite some time. Usually, I just have to ask your dad to help me and we've gotten whatever it is figured out pretty quickly. I like to bake, sew, scrapbook, take pictures, write, and do calligraphy. I'm not great at any of these but really enjoy them most of the time. I have big Martha Stewart dreams, but not quite the Martha talent.
7.
Today, your dad is exactly 5 weeks shy of 39 and I'm exactly 37.5. We are old in your eyes, but we feel so young. We still think we're playing at adulthood, wondering where all the responsibility and hard choices came from. I am still shocked each time I'm reminded that I'm knocking on the door of being 40. Forty is ancient! How could I possibly be 40? I just turned 20, for Pete's sake! I wonder if you'll remember us today? Will you remember what we looked like? Will you know how young we felt? It's doubtful. I certainly don't remember my parents at this age. I have vague memories of them in their 40s (sorry, Mom and Dad), but mostly, I remember them in their 50s. Although, with technology being what it is today, you'll have a better chance of remembering me at this age simply because I probably took a picture or ten and posted them on the internet. I won't actually be in any though, so I guess that won't really help you remember the me of today. The point is, your dad and I feel young. We are young. We have so much still ahead of us, so much we want to do, so much we want to see you all do. Most importantly, we don't really mind each birthday. Getting old is a blessing, it means we're still here together, with you. Each day is a gift and one we look forward to unwrapping each morning.
8.
I have a feeling you're going to look back on this time and remember that your life is all about PG. We live here, we are surrounded by students, athletics, buildings, faculty. Surrounded. All the time. It's awesome 90% of the time. And then we have to host a party the night before a huge science test for DuBose, spelling test for Mills, and snacks needing to be delivered to Ellie's class for student of the week. Inevitably, it always happens all in one night, and I'm not the sort to look ahead and get it done so you guys take the brunt of that, studying with the babysitter and eating store bought snacks. I'm not sure I'm sorry about that, sorry that maybe you felt slighted in some way, but rather glad that you saw me put your father first. I firmly believe that after God, he should be the most important thing in my life with y'all coming in third. My being there to support him in his role as Head of School is important. My supporting him in general is vital to a successful marriage. I'm not saying I'm always doing this to the best of my ability because frankly, I'm not. I am trying to though. And I also know that I'm doing my best with you and with being your mother. I love each of you unconditionally with my whole heart and pray diligently for you and your future. I'm navigating the roads of motherhood, appreciating the views and learning from the bumps. Most importantly, I'm enjoying it, 90% of the time! Motherhood is hard work and y'all are, quite frankly, exhausting!
9.
While you may be exhausting, you are my true true loves. I am so blessed to be home with you right now, to be able to open the door every afternoon when you return from school, to sit down with you and discuss your day, your homework. I love being able to drive on field trips, eat lunch with you at school, pick you up early for a Girls' Date! I love that I can tend to the house stuff I have to do while you're gone. I don't think anything would get done around here if I went to work each day. As you know, I was a teacher for 7 years before I had DuBose. I taught one year as an assistant in pre-K which was pretty much the best job ever. I went to work each morning and was told which children to play with, what papers to cut out, color, or create. I didn't have any responsibility other than picking out snack and the daily book to read out loud. I just played with 4 and 5 year olds. I reminded them to be kind to one another, to share, to laugh, to play. I don't think I could have done that forever, but at the time, it was just what I needed. Then, I was hired to teach 2nd grade at another school. Finally, my own classroom, my own plans, my own students. I loved it. I liked planning, creating, teaching. I felt like I was doing something important. Most of the time, I was good at it, but I also knew that I wanted to stay home once we had a child of our own. And thankfully, I was able to do that because your dad was supportive of that and worked hard so I could. Some days I miss teaching, but I just remind myself that I'm still a teacher only now my class is a group of three and the subject is life. Believe me, there aren't too many lesson plans out there for that. (The Bible ranks up there as the best!)
10.
Your dad's had an interesting career path that led him to his position today as Head of School for PG. His is a stressful, hard job that really never ends. He's never "off" as people contact him all the time, and they expect an answer ASAP. He has a crazy busy schedule where some days he doesn't even have a chance to check one thing off his To Do list. There are just soo many different facets of his job, and it's nearly impossible for one person to get to them all. But he manages to do it, and I think, he does it well. What makes him really good at it is that he truly, deeply cares about it. When he doesn't get to something on that list or can't make it to something, he feels badly about it. He never just shrugs it off and leaves it at work. He stays up at night wondering now to fit in the next day. He gets up super early to tackle things left on his desk. He never stops working (unless he's on that tractor which is why he loves it so!!) he's almost always thinking about that school where he's spent more than half of life. He's invested and he wants what's best for it. He cares about the traditions and the history. He feels passionate about the mission and always strives to make decisions that are in the best interest of the school. You should be proud of him for the work he's doing every day to give you the best education possible. I'm incredibly proud of him every day for his dedication and his hard work.
11.
Your father and I love the water. Really all forms, but the ocean's our favorite. It's just so amazing. I could sit on the beach and watch wave after wave roll in forever. There's something so peaceful and constant about it even when it's raging. Your dad loves to sail. Me, not so much. I prefer a faster, steadier boat. Dad would say a sailboat is plenty fast and steady. I like the freedom our Whaler gives us, allowing us to creep into small creeks, fly across the harbor, or just to sit still. We really want the three of you to have saltwater in your veins, to appreciate the wonder of our Lowcountry and to never take the rise and fall of the tides for granted. Swim in it, eat from it, get refreshed by it, and always respect it.
12.
Your father and I have something that seems to be rare: a group of true true friends who would do absolutely anything for us. True friends aren't so much the odd thing as is the dynamics of our group. For the most part, we've all known each other our entire lives. A few have spouses that have joined in whom we didn't know before the wedding, but they have fit in like they were there all along. Only one couple, the Ayers, are completely "new" without one of them having a connection to the rest of us in some way, but they totally make our group whole. (And by connection, I mean grew up with us or is related to someone in the group.) It's an interesting group with each person contributing something unique to it. As is the nature of things, your dad and I are closer to some, but are truly blessed to have such an amazing community of friends. We all got married relatively around the same time (5 of the couples in a 9 month period!), all started our families close together, and all make getting together at least once a month a priority. And we all think it's important that our children grow up as friends. Between us, we have 26 children ages 10 to almost 1. There's not much I love more than lining you all up for a picture. Their parents have enriched my life soo much, and I pray that you all do the same for each other. I love having this support group and can't imagine trying to do life without them. I pray that the three of you have friendships like this, whether they are lifelong or forged later in life. As long as they are real and trusted, supportive and loving, it really doesn't matter when you meet them. Find friends who will cheer loudly for you, laugh with you, cry with you, call you out when you need it, pray for you, catch you when you fall, and who will always have your back. Your dad and I have that and thank God daily for the gifts of friendship.
13.
Your dad and I are not perfect. Far from it. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, we need more patience, we can be selfish. The list goes on. But we try. Every day we try to be the best of ourselves for each other and for you. Hopefully, you all are learning how to grow from your mistakes by watching us, learning how to be forgiving, how to say you're sorry, how to love unconditionally. We want you each to have a spouse who brings out the best parts of you, who loves you beyond reason and who thinks you hung the moon. Don't settle for anything less. Dad and I have spent 13 years married, walking this life together, creating a family. They have been the hardest and best years of my life. I love him, the husband he is to me and the father he is to you.
....October 14, 2013, 13 years from our wedding day
Your dad and I are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary today. I've already written about how we met, our first date, and about our wedding day. I was thinking about what I wanted to write today and decided I wanted to give you a glimpse of your parents right now. I'd love to have a snapshot of my parents, even grandparents, from their 30s in their own words. I love a good story, especially when it involves people I know. I also love sneak peeks into peoples lives, their stories so I thought I'd give you that.
Thirteen tidbits about your parents on their 13th wedding anniversary....
1.
Your father has only a few things he is passionate about and right now Millwood Farm tops the list. Owning land and having a cabin on it has always been a dream of his (and mine). I'm sure his dreams came from time he spent at his grandparents' (Egleston grandparents) property along Lake Murray growing up. I was fortunate enough to visit it a few times before they sold it to move to Charleston. Dad grew up watching his grandparents enjoy spending their weekends there, gardening, boating, and just being together. Now, he has his own piece of property to tinker on whether he's on his tractor, in a deer stand, or just walking through the woods. It's quiet there, work is a distant thing, and he gets to work with his hands. Your dad loves to fix and build things. He takes pride in his accomplishments and he should - there's not much he can't do. He always amazes me with his solutions to problems and his ability to create things. The three of you should pay attention out there to him and to the things he does. Just by watching you'll learn a wealth of information, but you should take it a step further and help him. He has the ability to teach you anything and everything. Mainly, he has the ability to teach you to appreciate the world around you and hard work. Watch him, up on his tractor, sweating in the hot sun, clearing a field to plant it. Watch how hard he works, watch how much he loves it, watch him appreciate it.
2.
I have several things I really love, but music is very close to the top. If I could only take one thing with me to a deserted island, I'd have a hard time choosing between my Kindle and my music collection - lucky for me I could just take my iPad and have them both :) For me, music is therapy for every mood. I have it on all the time and love anything I can sing along to. (Now, I can't really sing but that doesn't stop me.) Since I have such a soundtrack to my life simply by having my music on all the time, most songs remind me of a memory, a friend, a place, or a mood. I think most people can relate to that. I love having that little nudge to think about someone or a memory. In the past few years, I've added tons of songs to my music library. Tons. And they all seem to speak to me in some way. Songs are like stories to me, telling of love lost or found, happiness, frustration, whatever. I'm sure you could find a song that tells about most anything you could experience in life. I also love my praise music which can almost guarantee to get me out of any funk. I keep my music organized in playlists by the year I bought them. I started this in 2009 so I can look back over the past several years and see what type of music I was drawn to at any given time. It's funny to see how all over the map I am with this. Very eclectic playlists! I've given the three of you the music bug as well which I love! (Your dad tolerates my love for music but he would be just as happy with a silent house and car rides.) We have lots of dance parties around here. You sing along to most of my favorite songs and you ask to have the music on in the car, at breakfast, while we play. I love it. Love the memories we are making and knowing that in a few years hearing a particular song is going to remind me of dancing with the cutest 9, 7 and 4 year olds ever!
3.
Your mom is fairly coordinated and athletic. Your dad is athletic but not so coordinated. He could outrun me, out sail me, out swim me, and out hike me any day of the week. Multiple times a day. And I'm in shape. I exercise regularly and feel really good. He doesn't exercise (other than the fact that he simply doesn't sit still, he's constantly in motion.) However, throw in a ball of some sort, and I have a slight advantage. I can beat him in tennis, bowling, basketball, and mostly certainly, volleyball. I just have better hand-eye coordination (only in this arena - he is a great shot with a gun!) and I prefer team sports whereas he prefers sports where the only person you need to beat is yourself. I like the comradery and the community team sports build. I like celebrating with others. He's more of a loner. He often times tells me he doesn't like people. He's joking, most of the time.
4.
I mentioned above that Dad doesn't sit still. Well, I'm not exaggerating. As you look back on your childhood, you'll realize that your dad was in perpetual motion. You rarely saw him sit in front of a TV. You probably never saw him read a book. If he was still, you'll remember him sitting in front of his laptop or napping, otherwise he was doing. Your mother, on the other hand? You'll probably remember me with my nose in a book most of the time that your dad (or y'all) didn't have me out doing something. I do like TV but find that not as much interests me there as it used to. (I have to admit here to a love of reality TV - I just love to have a peek into people's lives - how they interact with one another, how they react to circumstances, good vs evil qualities. All of it fascinates me, I should have been a sociology major, then I could have made a living at studying others:) Anyway, DuBose, I think you are fascinating because, so far, of the three of you, you are equal parts Dad and I. You are in constant motion. UNLESS your nose is in a good book. You rarely sit still, although you will watch TV but just short spurts here and there. Your love right now though is to read. And when you're not reading, you are doing, building, creating, playing, moving. Mills, you like to be inside. I think once the reading clicks for you, you'll love it as much as Bose and I, but for now you're all about the electronics. You will go outside and you love our adventures but given a choice, you'd pick TV or a video game. And Ellie, I'm not sure yet where you are going to fall in our family dynamics. Team movement or Team sit still? You don't seem to lean either way yet, just happy to be included in whatever is happening around you. I pray you all have a good balance, appreciating the need to get out there and do something but at the same realize cuddling up in a quiet place with a great book is heaven.
5.
Which leads nicely into your dad's and my love for adventure. Your dad genuinely loves to be out there, exploring and playing outside. I love it for those reasons and just because it's what I want your childhood to be. I want you to look back and remember all the things we did as a family, building our community of five. The word adventure is a part of your vocabulary right now. On Saturday mornings you ask us what adventure we are going on. Are we boating, hiking, bike riding? Going to the beach, going to a museum, aquarium, movie? You all love the possibilities. Your dad loves being out there, doing and I love making memories with you, watching the bonds form between you, between us. I pray you wake up each day and wonder what adventures lay ahead.
6.
Your mom is crafty. Or so I like to think. I have a strong urge to make something. I can't say that my follow through is all that great, however. New things can intimidate me (here's a big difference in your dad and I, he's rarely, if ever, intimidated by new things) so I have been known to start a project, then hit a road block and put it away until I can figure it out. Sadly, things have been known to sit for quite some time. Usually, I just have to ask your dad to help me and we've gotten whatever it is figured out pretty quickly. I like to bake, sew, scrapbook, take pictures, write, and do calligraphy. I'm not great at any of these but really enjoy them most of the time. I have big Martha Stewart dreams, but not quite the Martha talent.
7.
Today, your dad is exactly 5 weeks shy of 39 and I'm exactly 37.5. We are old in your eyes, but we feel so young. We still think we're playing at adulthood, wondering where all the responsibility and hard choices came from. I am still shocked each time I'm reminded that I'm knocking on the door of being 40. Forty is ancient! How could I possibly be 40? I just turned 20, for Pete's sake! I wonder if you'll remember us today? Will you remember what we looked like? Will you know how young we felt? It's doubtful. I certainly don't remember my parents at this age. I have vague memories of them in their 40s (sorry, Mom and Dad), but mostly, I remember them in their 50s. Although, with technology being what it is today, you'll have a better chance of remembering me at this age simply because I probably took a picture or ten and posted them on the internet. I won't actually be in any though, so I guess that won't really help you remember the me of today. The point is, your dad and I feel young. We are young. We have so much still ahead of us, so much we want to do, so much we want to see you all do. Most importantly, we don't really mind each birthday. Getting old is a blessing, it means we're still here together, with you. Each day is a gift and one we look forward to unwrapping each morning.
8.
I have a feeling you're going to look back on this time and remember that your life is all about PG. We live here, we are surrounded by students, athletics, buildings, faculty. Surrounded. All the time. It's awesome 90% of the time. And then we have to host a party the night before a huge science test for DuBose, spelling test for Mills, and snacks needing to be delivered to Ellie's class for student of the week. Inevitably, it always happens all in one night, and I'm not the sort to look ahead and get it done so you guys take the brunt of that, studying with the babysitter and eating store bought snacks. I'm not sure I'm sorry about that, sorry that maybe you felt slighted in some way, but rather glad that you saw me put your father first. I firmly believe that after God, he should be the most important thing in my life with y'all coming in third. My being there to support him in his role as Head of School is important. My supporting him in general is vital to a successful marriage. I'm not saying I'm always doing this to the best of my ability because frankly, I'm not. I am trying to though. And I also know that I'm doing my best with you and with being your mother. I love each of you unconditionally with my whole heart and pray diligently for you and your future. I'm navigating the roads of motherhood, appreciating the views and learning from the bumps. Most importantly, I'm enjoying it, 90% of the time! Motherhood is hard work and y'all are, quite frankly, exhausting!
9.
While you may be exhausting, you are my true true loves. I am so blessed to be home with you right now, to be able to open the door every afternoon when you return from school, to sit down with you and discuss your day, your homework. I love being able to drive on field trips, eat lunch with you at school, pick you up early for a Girls' Date! I love that I can tend to the house stuff I have to do while you're gone. I don't think anything would get done around here if I went to work each day. As you know, I was a teacher for 7 years before I had DuBose. I taught one year as an assistant in pre-K which was pretty much the best job ever. I went to work each morning and was told which children to play with, what papers to cut out, color, or create. I didn't have any responsibility other than picking out snack and the daily book to read out loud. I just played with 4 and 5 year olds. I reminded them to be kind to one another, to share, to laugh, to play. I don't think I could have done that forever, but at the time, it was just what I needed. Then, I was hired to teach 2nd grade at another school. Finally, my own classroom, my own plans, my own students. I loved it. I liked planning, creating, teaching. I felt like I was doing something important. Most of the time, I was good at it, but I also knew that I wanted to stay home once we had a child of our own. And thankfully, I was able to do that because your dad was supportive of that and worked hard so I could. Some days I miss teaching, but I just remind myself that I'm still a teacher only now my class is a group of three and the subject is life. Believe me, there aren't too many lesson plans out there for that. (The Bible ranks up there as the best!)
10.
Your dad's had an interesting career path that led him to his position today as Head of School for PG. His is a stressful, hard job that really never ends. He's never "off" as people contact him all the time, and they expect an answer ASAP. He has a crazy busy schedule where some days he doesn't even have a chance to check one thing off his To Do list. There are just soo many different facets of his job, and it's nearly impossible for one person to get to them all. But he manages to do it, and I think, he does it well. What makes him really good at it is that he truly, deeply cares about it. When he doesn't get to something on that list or can't make it to something, he feels badly about it. He never just shrugs it off and leaves it at work. He stays up at night wondering now to fit in the next day. He gets up super early to tackle things left on his desk. He never stops working (unless he's on that tractor which is why he loves it so!!) he's almost always thinking about that school where he's spent more than half of life. He's invested and he wants what's best for it. He cares about the traditions and the history. He feels passionate about the mission and always strives to make decisions that are in the best interest of the school. You should be proud of him for the work he's doing every day to give you the best education possible. I'm incredibly proud of him every day for his dedication and his hard work.
11.
Your father and I love the water. Really all forms, but the ocean's our favorite. It's just so amazing. I could sit on the beach and watch wave after wave roll in forever. There's something so peaceful and constant about it even when it's raging. Your dad loves to sail. Me, not so much. I prefer a faster, steadier boat. Dad would say a sailboat is plenty fast and steady. I like the freedom our Whaler gives us, allowing us to creep into small creeks, fly across the harbor, or just to sit still. We really want the three of you to have saltwater in your veins, to appreciate the wonder of our Lowcountry and to never take the rise and fall of the tides for granted. Swim in it, eat from it, get refreshed by it, and always respect it.
12.
Your father and I have something that seems to be rare: a group of true true friends who would do absolutely anything for us. True friends aren't so much the odd thing as is the dynamics of our group. For the most part, we've all known each other our entire lives. A few have spouses that have joined in whom we didn't know before the wedding, but they have fit in like they were there all along. Only one couple, the Ayers, are completely "new" without one of them having a connection to the rest of us in some way, but they totally make our group whole. (And by connection, I mean grew up with us or is related to someone in the group.) It's an interesting group with each person contributing something unique to it. As is the nature of things, your dad and I are closer to some, but are truly blessed to have such an amazing community of friends. We all got married relatively around the same time (5 of the couples in a 9 month period!), all started our families close together, and all make getting together at least once a month a priority. And we all think it's important that our children grow up as friends. Between us, we have 26 children ages 10 to almost 1. There's not much I love more than lining you all up for a picture. Their parents have enriched my life soo much, and I pray that you all do the same for each other. I love having this support group and can't imagine trying to do life without them. I pray that the three of you have friendships like this, whether they are lifelong or forged later in life. As long as they are real and trusted, supportive and loving, it really doesn't matter when you meet them. Find friends who will cheer loudly for you, laugh with you, cry with you, call you out when you need it, pray for you, catch you when you fall, and who will always have your back. Your dad and I have that and thank God daily for the gifts of friendship.
13.
Your dad and I are not perfect. Far from it. We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, we need more patience, we can be selfish. The list goes on. But we try. Every day we try to be the best of ourselves for each other and for you. Hopefully, you all are learning how to grow from your mistakes by watching us, learning how to be forgiving, how to say you're sorry, how to love unconditionally. We want you each to have a spouse who brings out the best parts of you, who loves you beyond reason and who thinks you hung the moon. Don't settle for anything less. Dad and I have spent 13 years married, walking this life together, creating a family. They have been the hardest and best years of my life. I love him, the husband he is to me and the father he is to you.
....October 14, 2013, 13 years from our wedding day
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