Happy 11th Birthday, DuBose

I'm not sure where the past eleven years went, Bose. One minute you were a tiny baby needing me for everything and now, you're this big kid who is basically self-sufficient. You were a great baby, rarely crying, and now, you are a great "tween." A tween... Ahh... How am I old enough to be so close to the teenage years?

Bose, you're still so much a little boy, but right on the brink of becoming a young man. You're curious about life, about what's to come, about how you're going to adjust to the changes of middle school. At the same time, you're content to be a kid still. You haven't asked for any social media even though most of your friends have various accounts. You don't fight me on the rules of your iPhone (it's not activated and I have the code to it, not you) You have zero interest in girls, gossip, or the social scene of your classmates. Honestly, I love that you haven't gotten absorbed by any of these things because I know it's only a matter of time. For now, you are quite happy with books and Legos.

You are smart. You seem to realize that things come easily for you and appreciate that trait. You do work hard and when you bring your best, you usually do the best. (I was told at your conference last week that you're at the top of the class for science and math.) You are a problem solver as well. You like logic problems, most math and science activities and trying to figure out how things around the house work. I walked into your room the other day while you were at school and an alarm was tripped. You had taken the bed wetting alarm and rewired it to go off when your door was opened. As annoying as that sound is, I was tickled to find your contraption.

Sometimes, you are too smart for your own good. You have a smart aleck attitude, and your brain allows you to drop totally appropriate sarcastic remarks. However, appropriate they are for the words, they aren't always appropriate in timing or audience. You can't seem to help yourself though even when you know I'll probably go off the rails when you do it - most of the time it's the equivalent to talking back to me, one of my pet peeves. You just smirk and seem to know that if you were an adult I would have laughed. I wish I could think of an example...

DuBose, you have the virtue of thinking of others. You can put yourself in someone else's shoes and be empathetic to their feelings. This trait is one of my favorites about you. You often make decisions based on how you think someone might feel about what you're going to do. I will say that this is only when you take the time to think a situation out and not in the heat of a moment. You can cut someone down when you lose your temper. And you have a big temper. Mills and I tend to take the brunt of this temper although you can let lose on a few friends as well. We've had many a conversation about this temper of yours. I'm praying that with age and maturity will come some control. You are always regretful though and offer sincere apologies when your words or actions go too far.

You have started being aware of the world around you a bit more. When I take your picture now, you ask if I'm going to post it on Facebook or Instagram. I now know that I have to ask your permission to do that. This actually isn't a bad thing because it allows us to talk about social media and respecting other people's wishes on it. My blog, though, might be a different story. I am not sure I'm ready to stop writing these letters to you and having a place to publish them and later, binding them into a book.  We have talked about it and you know who reads this and why I do it. So far, you haven't asked me to stop, only to let you read what I write. Fair enough and I'm only kidding when I say I won't stop. Maybe let me keep my yearly letters, though?

I mentioned your school conference above and I just want to tell you again how proud I am of you and how awesome you are doing in school. I know you're a bit nervous about next year, and frankly so am I. Not because I don't think you're capable of it but because middle school was torturous for me. I'm praying daily for you to have an amazing experience and from what I've heard about PG middle school, it's more than likely going to be just that. The opportunities you'll have and the freedom.... It's crazy to think how far you've come, how much I trust you to succeed and how excited I am for you. But no matter what, I'm on your side and cheering as loudly as you'll let me as you start this journey!

DuBose, you are one of my most favorite heartbeats. The heartbeat that made me a mama. The one that navigates all the firsts with me. Thank you for loving me like you do, for being patient with me as I stumble and for letting me help you when you stumble. Thank you for hugging me back even though I know you're rolling your eyes. Thank you for loving Mills and Ellie the way you do. I'm incredibly proud of you and can't wait to watch this twelfth year of yours.

All my love,

Mom